


Round and round, our love goes

by sunsethue



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 02:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14728475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsethue/pseuds/sunsethue
Summary: Chanyeol and Baekhyun breaks up and tries to live their lives apart.





	Round and round, our love goes

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for HappyEndingEXO fest Prompt no. 245 but mods disappeared so I'm cross-posting it now. Thank you to the prompter. It's not much but I hope you like it. Thank you to the mods who have been very patient and sweet. Thank you to K and A for inspiring this. Thank you to ChanBaek.

Spring of 2010

The room was silent and everything looked calm from the outside, just like how he imagined it.

Baekhyun had expected the exact scenario as he mulled about breaking up with Chanyeol the past weeks. He and Chanyeol were like two peas in a pod. They are both loud and playful but both of them were non-confrontational too. And that is probably the reason why their relationship of five years was falling apart now. 

“So we are really breaking up?” Chanyeol said from across the room, after long minutes of silence.

They opted not to sit next to each other. Chanyeol wanted to observe the expression of his longtime boyfriend as he breaks up with him and Baekhyun… he just doesn’t want to be near Chanyeol because he cannot afford to change his mind anymore.

“I’m sure you’ve seen this coming too,” Baekhyun answered, forcing his voice to steady. Though he felt the decision to break up is mutual, it’s still him who voiced it out first so he shouldn’t show any signs of weakness.

“I won’t lie and say no just to save face when we’ve been so distant from each other the past months. I just want to know if this is really the last option we have.”

Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s eyes boring into him but he refused to look at him. He knew he’s going to end up crying and he has cried enough the past weeks. 

A few seconds later, Baekhyun heard Chanyeol walk towards him and felt his hand caressing his hair. He looked up to his lover and there were tears in Chanyeol’s eyes too. This time, Baekhyun wasn’t able to stop his tears.

“Shh… don’t cry,” Chanyeol said as he pulls Baekhyun’s head to lean on his waist. “I understand and I agree with you. We should stop hurting each other while there is still love that exists between us. I don’t want you to remember me as that one person who exhausted everything you have to give.”

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”

“I’m sorry too, Baekhyun.”

**

Summer of 2010

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo said as soon as he enters his apartment. Chanyeol had been rooming with him for a few months now since he and Baekhyun broke up and both left their shared room.

“I’m preparing my presentation for the prospective investors I’m meeting this Friday,” Chanyeol replied, barely looking up from his laptop.

“But… isn’t Baekhyun leaving for New York today? I thought you’d want to send him off at the airport.”

Chanyeol glanced at Kyungsoo’s direction briefly before resuming whatever he was typing.

“I can’t see him. I might not be able to let him go quietly and cause him more distress when he gets to New York.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, Chanyeol? Long distance relationship can work.”

Minutes passed by before his tall friend replied that Kyungsoo thought Chanyeol did not hear him.

“This is not what I want. But this is what we both need. His dreams are there, my dreams are here. It’s not that we think we can’t work a long distance relationship. Even when we were together in one room, we weren’t working out because we were growing apart.”  


**

Winter of 2010

“What do you mean you won’t be coming home?” Kyungsoo demanded over the phone, clearly unfazed by the 14 hours difference between them.

“I can’t afford to go home now, Soo. I’ve only been here for a few months and work is getting more hectic here. I have too many deadlines that I can’t afford to miss. You know this has always been my dream job.”

“I know I promised not to meddle but Baek, he’s still waiting for you. He cleared his schedule next week because he wants to see you personally on his birthday.”

Baekhyun sighed. He and Kyungsoo have been friends since freshman year in college when they ended up being roommates in the university dormitory. They’ve been roommates all until their third year in college before Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to move in together. But despite that, Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo’s loyalty will always be with Chanyeol. After all, they’ve been best friends since they were toddlers.

“Chanyeol knows there is nothing to wait for, Soo. It’s not just a temporary break up for us but a complete clean slate.”

“I’m not sure he knows that. I mean, you both did say it’s a mutual break up and that you’ll be moving on from each other but Chanyeol is still not over you.”

“I’m not over him too but we should try, Soo. We should try because there’s nothing left for us and I don’t want us to fall into a routine of breaking up and making up.”

“You weren’t even answering his calls. Do you want me to send a message?” Kyungsoo asked.

He wants to say a lot of things but he has given up the right to say those things months ago. 

“Just that I won’t be home anytime soon.”

“I understand. And I can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss your ugly face Byun. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Baekhyun laughed. “You too, Soo. Good night.”

**

Winter of 2010

Chanyeol used to love the fact that his birthday falls almost a month before Christmas because festivities and parties happen one after the other. But this year had been pretty dismal and all the parties happening around him was making him feel more like a grouch. 

His life has been going nowhere and he misses Baekhyun, but he can’t even say that out loud. 

The last time they talked was over the phone on his birthday. It was only for 20 minutes. They exchange messages every now and then but no long conversations and at most times it’s only one or two sentences because they don’t catch each other at the same time. Chanyeol tried so hard not to memorize Baekhyun’s schedule or even check time differences. It defeats the purpose of their break up.

Chanyeol wasn’t expecting anything from Baekhyun for Christmas. He knows Baekhyun was busy with his work as the music industry knows no holidays. Chanyeol himself was busy with his own work in his mother’s restaurant as Christmastime means influx of catering orders. 

He was definitely surprised to wake up to a phone call on the morning of Dec. 25. 

He must be hallucinating but it’s Baekhyun’s name he saw before he answered the call.

And it’s Baekhyun’s voice he heared on the side, though sniffing and sounding distressed.

“Baekhyun?”

“I miss you. I miss you so much. Please tell me I made the wrong decision. Please tell me to come home.”

Chanyeol is stunned. He misses Baekhyun too. He feels miserable and nothing is going right in his life, yet. He wants to say those selfish words but he remembers all the times he bribed Kyungsoo and Jongdae for detailed updates about Baekhyun and feeling happy knowing his ex-lover is faring well in a city as huge as New York. He thinks it’s unfair that Baekhyun is pushing the difficult task to him, knowing this is not what they both really want. 

“I miss you too Baekhyun. But I am not what you need now. It’s Christmas and you are lonely, I understand that. But you are stronger than this. Okay?”

Baekhyun sniffed and cried more on the other side and Chanyeol can feel tears rolling on his cheeks too but he manages to smile as he imagines Baekhyun’s nose probably red by now.

“I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, Yeol.”

The nickname hits Chanyeol and closes his eyes to stop crying harder. 

“I don’t know too. But maybe it’s not time to figure it out now. So why don’t you just tell me now how’s Christmas in New York? Is it very different from here in Seoul?”

**

Spring of 2011

“When you said we were going drinking tonight because you got the loan you needed for your restaurant, I thought you meant drinking at your home,” Kyungsoo said as he drank his expensive drink courtesy of Chanyeol. They were in one of the more pricey resto-bars in the city.

"Actually, aside from the impromptu celebration, there's someone I want you to meet."

Kyungsoo raised his left eyebrow.

"I've been seeing someone. We're friends but in can potentially be something more. Anyway, I want you to meet him."

Half way through their first round of drinks, Chanyeol's guest arrived.

"Hi! I'm Yixing! Nice to meet you, Kyungsoo. Chanyeol has told me a lot of things about you."

"Really? I wish I can say the same but Chanyeol has been so secretive these past weeks. You must be someone special. How did you two meet again?"

Chanyeol glared at Kyungsoo and answered, "Yixing is a friend of Kris’ boyfriend Tao. You know, that other tall one from culinary school? He introduced us when I invited Kris to partner with me in the restaurant."

"I see. Are you a chef too?" Kyungsoo asked Yixing.

"Ah no. I'm a musician. I play in bars and teach instruments. I compose songs too," Yixing said.

Kyungsoo coughed and Chanyeol sighed.

"A singer-songwriter. Just like Chanyeol's type."

**

Autumn of 2011

Baekhyun scrolled through his friends' Facebook pages as he tries to kill time. He booked the studio until 9 p.m. but he has no drive to write anything. He didn't want to leave the studio without finishing his reserved time because it will be like admitting defeat.

He kept going back to Chanyeol's page despite how much he resists. He saw a lot of old faces around him but there a few new ones too.

The last time they really talked was last Christmas. They had a very lengthy phone call and talked about many things. It was comforting. But it never happened again because as they were about to end the call Chanyeol said, "Let's stay like this Baek, cheering for each other from the other side of the world. But don't forget too this is the best that we can have for now. We need to live our lives too."

And so Baekhyun tried, really hard, to live his life. He remembered all those years in their relationship when he was living only as "Chanyeol's Baekhyun" and how it ended up ruining probably the best love story he'll ever have. Now they are two, independent people. Baekhyun needs to live his life too.

They didn't contact each other much since that phone call, aside from New Year greetings and a birthday greeting. 

Baekhyun saw from Chanyeol's posts that he was able to open a small restaurant and that he seems to be dating a new guy. 

Baekhyun tries to forget the questions of "what ifs and what might have beens" in his mind but he can't help it. So instead of wasting the feelings, he moves to his piano and plays. 

**

Summer of 2012

Kyungsoo rushed to the kitchen of the restaurant and find Chanyeol hunched on a dish, trying to make it pretty. He released a sigh before walking towards his friend.

"I got your message," Kyungsoo said. "That was fast."

"Yeah," Chanyeol says as he inspected his meal. "Though I didn't expect much because Yixing has always been a free-spirited person. Relationships weren't really his thing."

"You don't seem to be as bothered as I thought you'd be."

"We aren't as good lovers to each other as we were as friends."

"You do realize that's your fault right? I've told you since the beginning, you shouldn't project your feelings for Baekhyun to him. They are different people, no matter how similar they seem to you."

"I know that and I've been unfair to both of them. Maybe I'm not really made for relationships."

"You are being unfair to yourself too and that last sentence you said is pure bullshit. You just don't have to rush these things, Chanyeol."

"I know that now."

Kyungsoo decided there is no reason to nag his best friend anymore.

"So is that new dish good? I'm going to need your help because I'm bringing in a date here this weekend."

Summer of 2012

“So what are we celebrating again?” Junmyeon said loudly over the noisy bar. The huge number of people partying inside makes one forget that a heavy rain is actually happening outside. But the bar plays good music and Baekhyun has always liked that. 

“It’s my second year here in New York today. It’s a feat that deserves a drink I believe.”

“So is this happy drinking or sad drinking?”

Baekhyun laughed. “A happy one. Definitely. The past two years had been difficult but helped me grow as a person so I’m really happy.”

“I’m glad then. You did grow up a lot. I remember on your first month here you would ask for my help all the time. Too bad you learn fast because I liked being your knight in shining armor,” Junmyeon said with a soft smile. 

“I can’t always be relying on you. I moved here to take care of myself better.”

“That’s true. But you haven’t gone home the whole two years. Is there no one waiting for you back home?” Junmyeon asked.

Baekhyun swirled the drink in his hand as he thought about the people he left back in Seoul. His parents are living their quiet retirement in Jeju while his brother and his family have moved to Busan. His own best friend Jongdae is in London, chasing his own dream, while Kyungsoo is dating a doctor. Baekhyun’s mind drifted to the one notification from Facebook just that morning reminding him about the reopening after expansion of Chanyeol’s restaurant next weekend.

“No, there’s nothing waiting for me back in Seoul now. And this is my home now, Junmyeon. One that I’ve built on my own.”

**

Winter of 2012

Chanyeol double checked his watch. In a few minutes, the new album of EXO* will be dropping and Baekhyun had hinted in his twitter that he has one song included in the album.

Chanyeol kept refreshing iTunes page and Baekhyun's twitter account.

At exact midnight, Baekhyun posted that his song was titled "What If."

Chanyeol listened to song's melody first. Then he played it again for the lyrics. He played for the third time for the singers’ voices. He played the song one more time, this time imagining Baekhyun singing it.

Chanyeol thumped his chest, trying to stop the tears from flowing.

It's an emotional song, a really beautiful song.

**

Autumn of 2013

One successful song release meant more pressure than Baekhyun was ready for. He was sent to different songwriting camps around the world and made to work with many artists from different countries. Twice he was in Seoul but didn't meet anyone except for Jongdae. He was going back to New York anyway.

What he wasn't ready for was falling ill. He got so sick he had to stay in the hospital for a week, then stay in bed for another one. 

But getting sick turned out to be a blessing in disguise for him -- or -- well, more for Sehun.

Sehun was younger than him but holds a management position in the record label since his family partially owns it. But that doesn't mean Sehun's not qualified for his position. He is good at what he does. 

Sehun had been vocal too that he likes Baekhyun. Many times he turned him down citing work relationships but they both know that is not true since their jobs are not directly connected. 

When Baekhyun got sick, Sehun insisted he takes care of him.

"Maybe it's time to let other people in. I'm not forcing you, but if you want to try to take a risk and love again... I want you to at least know I'm an option you have."

**

Winter of 2013

The food delivery system of Chanyeol's restaurant wa fairly new. But he made a stupid decision to start it during the holiday season, resulting to a lack of manpower.

What he was completely unprepared for was a delivery request on Christmas Eve. There's no one to ask to run the errand but Chanyeol doesn't have the heart to turn the customer down. The food was for one person only, probably someone stuck in his job this holiday season too. So Chanyeol took the job himself since he has no one to waiting for him that night anyway.

Fortunately, the address was at one of the more upscale buildings two blocks away from Chanyeol's place. On his left hand he carried the customer's food and on his right is his own meal for the night.

A very handsome guy in dark blue sweats opens the door for him. Chanyeol handed him his food and his spiel for delivery. 

"I know it's such a hassle but I'm really grateful for your hard work," the man said. "It's hard for me to have a good meal these days but I really wanted to eat something nice for Christmas. If only I can have someone to eat this with but all my friends and family are in China. Anyway, thank you."

Chanyeol had walked 10 steps away already from the closed door before he decided to turn around and walk back. He remembered Baekhyun and his first year in New York. Chanyeol knocked on the customer's door again.

"Hi! Sorry. I'm Chanyeol. I know this is weird. But if you want, we can eat our meals together?"

"That would be lovely," the customer said. "Nice meeting you, Chanyeol. I'm Luhan."

**

Autumn of 2014

“Yes Kyungsoo, I’ve memorized all your flight details and I promise to pick you up at the airport on time,” Baekhyun repeated with a light laughter as his friend makes grunting noises on the phone.

“Jongdae said you forgot to pick him up when he visited you last month. I’m not trusting you that much now, Byun.” 

“I didn’t forget! I was just a bit late. Besides, I don’t want Minseok to have a bad impression of me. I’m excited to meet him,” Baekhyun said.

“And you would’ve met him sooner if you had come home. Besides, there’s no chance for a good first impression for you because I’ve told Minseok of all our college adventures.”

“All?! Including that time we had to walk butt naked across the campus because our clothes were stolen when we sneaked in the university pool?”

“Okay, maybe not that one. And I forbid you from telling Minseok that or else I’ll cut your balls.”

Baekhyun laughed harder as Kyungsoo threatened him more.

“Don’t worry I won’t spill your secrets. Don’t want you to say anything to Sehun too, anyway.”

“Right. I’m excited to meet your boyfriend too if he’s going to be a buffer from your talkative mouth. He’s younger than us right? But he’s like your boss?”

“Not my boss since our departments don’t work together but yes he’s part of the upper management even if he’s younger than us. A combination of a boy genius, talent, and privileged family background, they say.”

“Oh! Sounds like Luhan!” Kyungsoo said. 

“Luhan… he’s the guy Chanyeol’s dating right? A photographer?” Baekhyun asked, a bit hesitantly.

“Ah yes. Did I mention him before? Or you’ve probably seen them in Chanyeol’s Facebook.”

“Yes, I saw the photos. And Chanyeol and I chat sometimes so he may have mentioned Luhan a few times.”

“Wait what?! You and Chanyeol have been chatting? Then why won’t you come home?”

“I told you it’s not because of Chanyeol. We’ve been exchanging birthdays and Christmas greetings, Soo. We’re not totally avoiding each other. But it’s not really chatting. We don’t go pass pleasantries.”

“Hmm… Chanyeol hasn’t mentioned anything. But I’m glad you two are at least somehow not total strangers to each other.”

“It’s not a big deal. Maybe that’s why Chanyeol didn’t say anything anymore.”

“Does Sehun know about him?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Just some bits and pieces. I’ve only been officially dating Sehun for six months, there’s still more to learn about each other.”

“And I’ll make sure to fill him in all about you,” Kyungsoo said.

**

Summer of 2014

Baekhyun's second successful song was one he was not ready for. A song he labored hard for actually made it into Bruno Mars’ album and became a viral hit. A few weeks after the successful release, he gets a job offer in Seoul.

He was torn what to do. Baekhyun liked where he is now, liked everything in his life now. But something always pulled him back to thoughts of Seoul.

One night, as he cuddled with Sehun in bed while they listen to some of his draft songs, his boyfriend asked him a surprising question. 

“Do I inspire you?” Sehun asked. His tone was serious but calm.

“Of course you do. You are my boyfriend.”

Sehun nodded. “I’m not saying this because I feel insecure and I assure you haven’t done anything wrong. But it only hits me now that your muse will always be him. That’s one thing no one can ever win back from him because he’s not even in your life anymore but he still holds that privilege so tightly.”

Baekhyun eyes went wide over Sehun’s words. 

“That’s not true! I don’t love him anymore. I am here with you now and I love you.”

“No one said anything about love, babe. I know you love me and I can feel it and appreciate it and I know you know I feel the same way. But he is your muse and he will always be able to ignite your creative process. You are not cheating on me, it’s just something I have to learn to live with.”

**

Summer of 2015

Baekhyun all but ran to his best friend Jongdae when he saw him at the airport. They’ve met a couple of times in New York when Jongdae visited but he wasn’t expecting to see him today again on the soil of Korea.

“What the fuck, Byun! How can you surprise me like this?! I thought I was picking up Junmyeon!”

“With that tone of yours Dae I’d think you want to see hyung more than me,” Baekhyun said with a laugh as his friend lets him go from his tight hug. “Don’t worry, he’s coming here next month.”

“Well I can wait for another month,” Jongdae said with a smirk, then added, “But I’m seriously happy to see you again. Are you back for good?” 

“Well yes. I received a really good offer to exclusively write music for SM Entertainment. I felt it’s time to move back home.”

“Is Sehun with you?” Jongdae asked as he loads Baekhyun’s luggage in his car. Baekhyun has been gone for almost five years but comes home with only one luggage. He decided to just start anew again in Seoul and not carry around the baggages from New York anymore.

“No. We broke up a few months ago. But we’re still friends. He helped me decide to take this job offer and he might visit with Junmyeon next month.”

“That’s sad but I’m glad you are still friends. And speaking of friends, you need a proper welcome back party!”

Baekhyun doesn’t disagree. Planning parties is Jongdae’s secret passion aside from being a successful, published writer. 

**

Autumn of 2015

Easing back to his life in Seoul had pretty easy to Baekhyun. The welcome party had been intimate and all of Baekhyun’s closest friends were there, including Chanyeol.

At first, they were awkward. But since Chanyeol made the big step to meet him again, Baekhyun exerted extra effort to break the awkwardness. After all, they both did say they still wanted to be friends.

Baekhyun has met Luhan too and it was a huge surprise how sweet the older boy was. He googled him before and thought he’d be a high-maintenance type of guy. Chanyeol said it’s that charm that endeared him greatly. Baekhyun was immediately endeared to him too.

Junmyeon was also offered a job by SM Entertainment so Baekhyun spent the past months helping him around. Since Junmyeon was born and raised in the United States, he needed more adjusting.

Baekhyun and Jongdae has introduced Junmyeon to the gang and he got along well with everyone, especially Chanyeol.

They got along too well that Baekhyun was surprised when he received a distress call from Junmyeon, asking him to pick them up from a bar in Gangnam because Chanyeol got into a drunk fight.

Apparently, Chanyeol asked Junmyeon if he can accompany him for a drink.

“I think he and Luhan broke up,” Junmyeon said after he helped Baekhyun put Chanyeol into his car. “I didn’t know what to do so I called you.”

“That’s okay. Will you be able to go home safely?”

“Don’t worry about me. Will you be okay with him?”

“Yes I’ll just take him to his home.” 

When they reached Chanyeol’s house, Baekhyun realized he didn’t know Chanyeol’s passcode. So he called Kyungsoo about it.

“It’s 0408” Kyungsoo said.

“Oh. What does those numbers mean?” Baekhyun asked. They feel totally random.

“It’s the date of the opening of his restaurant.” 

Baekhyun realized he won’t really be able to guess it since it’s a date that became significant when he was out of Chanyeol’s life. For a split second he entertained the thought that Chanyeol’s passcode can still be related to him like the way it used to be many years ago. It’s pretty much a narcissistic and selfish split second because Baekhyun knows Chanyeol has moved on already.

That night, for the first time in years, Baekhyun was able to watch Chanyeol sleep again. 

Chanyeol was having a fitful sleep. He kept scrunching his face and he seemed uncomfortable and angry. Baekhyun sent a message to Luhan as he left Chanyeol’s room.  


**

Winter of 2015

Luhan did not reply to Baekhyun that night but he sent several messages the following weeks. The messages were almost always the same, asking him to please tell Chanyeol to stop messaging him. 

Apparently, Luhan did break up with Chanyeol after a long series of fights because of jealousy and possessiveness and the taller guy refused to acknowledge it.

But Baekhyun didn’t have the heart to tell Chanyeol that. He thinks he has no right to meddle in their relationship. 

Baekhyun watched at the sidelines as Chanyeol tried to chase Luhan back.

His heart breaks every time as he saw Chanyeol get rejected repeatedly.

But the most painful heartbreak was that one night when Chanyeol was so drunk and he told Baekhyun, "I realize my failure was losing you when I did not fight for you back then. And I don't want to make the same mistake again with Luhan."  
Spring of 2016

The whole fashion industry was not ready when renowned photographer Luhan and supermodel Kai announced they are engaged. 

Magazines described it as a whirlwind romance after they worked on a Valentines issue for Vogue together. Tabloids called it a publicity stunt.

And Chanyeol and Baekhyun, two people who had zero presence in the fashion world despite the former dating the photographer and the latter working in the entertainment industry, were eating brunch together in Chanyeol’s place when the news broke out. 

“When’s the last time you talked to Luhan?” Baekhyun asked when he recovered from the shock.

“A week before my birthday last year I think. He got so mad at me because I left a hundred calls and blocked me completely.”

“That’s crazy Chanyeol.”

“I know. But isn’t this crazier? Getting married to someone you met two months ago? And Luhan had been commitment-phobic when we first met.”

Baekhyun shrugged and bit his sandwich. Chanyeol was definitely an amazing cook. 

“Maybe it’s love.”

**

Autumn of 2016

The drive to Jeonju was a very spur of the moment decision for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. 

Chanyeol wanted to eat authentic Jeonju cuisine and Baekhyun needed new sceneries to write songs.

They invited other friends but all were too busy.

“The last time we had a road trip was when we went to Busan after graduation right?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.

“Yeah. But drive was longer because we were driving my brother’s old car. Glad we are driving your Benz now.”

“It’s the first thing I bought when the restaurant started profiting big.”

Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol’s direction and observed his tall friend. It felt good being able to call him his friend now. 

He didn’t know how it started but they’ve started becoming really close again post-Luhan. Baekhyun insisted on being around whenever Chanyeol needed to cry it out and when Chanyeol was able to eventually move on, having Baekhyun around him stuck. They fell into a routine of having brunch together and going out on weekends. And it was good because Chanyeol is still the most comfortable person to be with for Baekhyun.

“The last six years have been good for you right?” Baekhyun asked, a smile visible on his face.

Chanyeol hummed an agreement, his eyes still on the road. “I guess yes. Though I had one too many failed relationships, it was a great character building experience. I was too contented before, back when we were together. But the past six years challenged me and helped me become better.”

Baekhyun silently nodded, hoping Chanyeol sees it from his peripheral view. 

“You’ve done well the last six years too,Baek,” Chanyeol said. “Looking back, I only realized when you were gone how much you were giving to me. Your world revolved around our relationship that my complacency threatened your potential too. I would’ve hated myself if I killed that spark you possessed.”

“No, Yeol. That wouldn’t have been possible. Someone once told me how obvious that you are my muse. It wouldn’t have been possible for you to kill it.”

“We can’t know for sure how everything would turn out now if we didn’t do what we did six years ago,” Chanyeol said. “Sometimes I wish I did fight for you and followed you at the other side of the world. But all these questions don’t matter anymore. I am just happy that right now, at this moment, I have you beside me.”

**

Winter of 2016

Fireworks still decorate the sky even after the countdown has ended. Chanyeol was standing next to Baekhyun on the balcony of Kyungsoo and Minseok’s big apartment. 

“Happy New Year, Baek,” Chanyeol said.

“Happy New Year too, Yeol,” Baekhyun replied, smiling as wide as he can. 

“I never thought I’d be able to spend the New Year with you again,” Chanyeol said. “It’s like so many things happened and changed, and yet everything still feels the same.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Definitely a good thing. And I like it a lot.”

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, confused. “What exactly do you like?”

Chanyeol reached for Baekhyun’s hand and lightly squeezed it. “Can I be honest?” he asked.

Baekhyun nodded as he tries to will away the electric current brought by Chanyeol’s touch.

“I like how the universe conspired to bring us back to each other. Back when we first met, I liked how you were the epitome of everything I can fall in love with. When we dated, for five years, I liked that I was able to give and receive the best kind of love. One that is pure enough to let go just to let the person they love grow. For the last six years, I liked that you proved me right. That you are made for great things. And tonight, right now, I like that many things have changed and we are different people from the Chanyeol and Baekhyun who first met, and yet this me standing next to you now is still confident he can fall in love with you all over again.”

Baekhyun was stunned. He didn’t know what to reply so instead he pulled Chanyeol for a kiss. It was light and surprised them both.

“So many things have changed but you still manage to make my heart flutter, Park Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol laughed and kissed Baekhyun again, this time longer.

After long minutes of kissing, Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s face in his hands and said, “We don’t have to rush in defining what we have. But I just don’t want to pretend I’m not feeling all this love for you inside of me.”

“I feel the same way, Yeol. Don’t worry, we can take all the time in the world and figure this out together.”

“Together. That sounds good. I like it.”

**


End file.
